Catching it in the Rear End...

Well, I learned a lot this past Monday afternoon, about a multitude of things, most notably these:

1) Auto accidents happen at the most inopportune times and derail your day, and you just have to live with it.

2) People make really awesome faces when they see your car about to get hit by another car.

3) Whiplash(or whatever you call that sore and stiff post-getting hit by a car feeling) actually gets me in the lower back more than the neck or shoulders.

4) I still have quite a ways to go on controlling my actions.

...So now that you've seen the outline, here is the more "detailed report." And no, that is not my car in the picture.

I was on my way to a youth function on Monday evening after closing up church, and as I was waiting at a red light, I was rear ended. Now, referencing point #1, I was running a bit late, and I was supposed to help lead the event. That is not going to happen because I know I will be tied up with waiting for cops, exchanging information, doing paperwork, etc. All in all though, they did a great job of finishing up, and within about an hour I was done, and able to head home.

It was also one of those accidents that comes out of nowhere. It happened very quickly, but i do remember some things in stark detail. I was sitting at the light, and i was just debating whether it would have been faster for me to go straight or turn left at the intersection, and I had just said to myself, well, I suppose we'll never know for sure (now I do). And I also remember the traffic from the cross street had started turning left in front of me, and then I see the lady turning left in front of me scrunch her face up somewhat like THIS ->


That was something quite memorable, and I remember thinking to myself something like "what's her problem?" and then I get a close up with the steering wheel as I get smacked from behind. The guy was probably going about 15-20 mph when he hit me, no brakes, nothing. It was probably good because I got flung around quite a bit, and if I had seen him coming or tensed up, I'd probably be hurting much worse right now.

Oh yea, that's point #3 - I hurt. but I'm not sure I hurt bad enough to need help, it doesn't feel much worse than after I've spent a day woodcutting with Hutch for the Ghana Mission Fund or anything. I was expecting my neck to hurt a ton, but it doesn't; instead it is all in my lower back, like this big ball of tight soreness. I don't usually complain when I get hurt, and I definitely don't want to be viewed in the same category as one of those "ow my back, give me compensation!" people that seem to embody the worst of American culture, so I'm waiting to see. I know some people that have had long-term problems because of an accident and this doesn't seem the same as them, so I'll wait it out and see if it heals.

Which brings me to the real point of the post, point #4. I need to work on my actions, on my first response. I know, you're saying, who doesn't? You were surprised, you were shocked, your fight or flight response was up...yeah, I've heard that already from my own mind.

But the first thing I do, I mean the very first thing, is think "What IDIOT just hit me while I was sitting here?", and I immediately jump out of the car, with my hands already thrown up in a "WHAT?" kind of attitude, and I look behind me and there is this meek looking, older Asian man behind the wheel, and he just kind of puts his hands up and mouths "Sorry!"

And what am I supposed to do then? I'm ready for some punk teenager or some Paris Hilton lookalike to start throwing me attitude and not have any insurance, and instead I get this meek, well mannered man apologizing, and he does so profusely, and is so worried because he was concerned there might be children in the van with me, and is just so humble about the whole thing, readily admits fault (I LOVE it how the first thing the insurance company tells you to do is to refuse to take any responsibility or admit any fault, and I wonder how I would have done it in this guys shoes, I hope I would have been as humble), and is asking if I am ok.

And it hits me like a ton of bricks, you know? The fact that I am a jerk.


I mean, here I am, coming from a day of working at a CHURCH, and going to a YOUTH EVENT where we're going to talk about how great JESUS is, and I act like, not Jesus, but a JERK. Just like I am the same as everyone else.

I ended up apologizing to the guy, and his wife when she showed up later, for my initial actions, just telling them I was sorry I hadn't treated him like I would want to be treated, like Jesus would have done it.


Now, let em step back and explain myself. I'm not posting this so you can give me comments that say "Oh man, it's Ok, UR still Kewl" or something like that.

I think the reason really is, first, I want to own up to when I do something that is stupid, or just plain wrong, even if it appears little. One of the big beefs that our world has against us as Christians is that we claim to have this great moral fabric, but we spend most of our time holding the world up to a standard it never agreed to follow and telling them they are wrong, and then rationalizing and finding all kinds of excuses for why it's alright for us to continue failing that same standard. When I look in the New Testament, I see the exact opposite was the design, that believers were expected to love each other enough to care and hold one another to the highest standard of accountability, because we know what the standard is and what Grace is supposed to be at work doing in our lives. Then they were showing amazing compassion and love to those outside in the world, and it was UNSTOPPABLE. People couldn't get enough of it, even when they were signing on to be persecuted and killed. I think maybe we got this all backward, and I want to be one of those people who lives it right. If I won't submit to that myself, how would I ever be able to expect to hold anyone else in our church accountable?

But second, and more important, is that I don't want to ever do that again. And one of the best ways I know how to keep myself from repeating sin is to confess it, get it out on the table, and ask for my brothers and sisters to help me. So I guess that's what I'm doing by sharing this.

Life will go on, the car will get fixed, and my back (hopefully) will stop hurting soon, but I hope this is one entry I never forget.

Have a blessed evening.